September 29,2010 Wednesday.....This is the day we have been waiting for, my appointment with Dr. Curley and his team to find out the final results of my surgery. They released me from the hospital on Saturday a day earlier than anticipated, I think that having such an attentive personal nurse made all the difference. The official pathology report showed that the chemo had been effective in reducing the size of tumors by 50%, he removed them and also two other shadows which he then used radioablation therapy on. The rate of reacurrance when he does that is less than 2 %. So, bottom line is I have been richly blessed by your thoughts and prayers and great medical treatment. Dr.Curley recommended more chemo after I have throughly recovered from this surgery (probably after the new year.) He wants me to see him in December right after Christmas for my first follow-up.
I can return to work, with some restrictions beginning next week. Brian and I will be flying back to Alaska on Saturday.

My surgery and hospital stay were probably the hardest thing I have been through. I experienced anxiety and pain which I have never experienced before.

I will be back later with more about how the past two weeks have gone. Evelyn

Surgery Today

Hi everyone,

This is Heather, my mom asked me to post an update for her when she got out of liver resection surgery, which she just did. I will let her share the details of her operation later, because I'd probably get something wrong, but the doctor said that she did great and things were looking good. When I talked to my dad he was just waiting for the OK to go see her in recovery. He sounded relieved and at peace about things. The doctor said that it looked like her cancer had responded well to the chemo she'd had and he feels really optimistic about things. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers-- I know they have helped so much. I am so happy to have this major surgery over with!

I left Heather and the babies at the airport at Cleveland in a torrential rain storm and with lots of tears. I am thinking we won't see each other again until at least Christmas and maybe longer. However,it was so nice to have that time with them. I feel that I know Abbie and William better and that they are much more comfortable with me.
I was excited to have Brian waiting for me at the airport in Houston and to have sometime with him. He is so good to me.
On Friday, after blood tests, an ekg, more blood tests, a visit with the anesthesiologist and with Dr. Curley I was scheduled for surgery for sure on Monday at 11:00. During the surgery the doctor will do an ultra sound on my liver and take out any tumors he can find, large and microscopic. He will also be taking out my gall bladder and any lymph nodes that are supicious. The surgery will take at least three hours and if all goes well I may be able to leave the hospital on Friday.

Brian and I spent Saturday exploring some of the back roads of Houston and eating some very good mexican food. Today we went to church with the Halliday family and for a walk in Herman Park, an area with beautiful gardens, a zoo and a museum. We got caught in another torential rainstorm which was warm and refreshing. It has been a long time since we went walking in the rain and it was sweet.

Right now I am drinking lots of clear liquids and having nothing to drink after midnight. Not my favorite past time but I feel so blessed to be able to have this surgery at this time. I am feeling a little aprehensive but I am also confident that things will go well. How could they not with all the support and prayers from family and friends and many I do not know.

Things are still going as planned.
I will be flying back to Houston on Thursday the 16th, getting blood tests and seeing the doctor on Friday to make sure I am fit for surgery. My surgery is on the 20th of September and I should be back in Wasilla if all goes well on October 2 or 3rd. I am feeling so good. I am supposed to be getting lots of exercise and I am, I just don't think it is the kind of exercise the doctor was thinking of. Painting the nursery and the kitchen and running up and down three flights of stairs and going for walks with the grand kids at least once if not twice a day is the kind of exercise I am getting. After climbing the stairs the first few days I was so stiff I could hardly move up and down normally. I was moving up and down them like 20 month old Will, holding onto the rail, two feet on each step, not alternating. Now I go up and down them with little effort unless I am carrying something and the two babies are trying to go up or down with me at the same time.

Heather and Jared went to Palmyra New York on Friday with their ward and I stayed home with the babies. I told them they needed sometime together before the next little one arrives. They won't be having much time to themselves after that. The baby is due on the 4th of October, although Jared is thinking he will come early.

Today, after church and a nap Abbie and Will and I made an Oatmeal cake. Abbie who will be three on the 30th of October especially enjoyed the activity, stirring and tasting and pouring in the ingredients. William who is 20 months is more into tasting and touching everything with his hands, having a sensory experience. The cake turned out well and Abbie enjoyed helping me cut it and serving everyone a piece. You should have seen her smile. When I ask Abbie to do something she often says to me, "if you insist grandma, if you insist," with a twinkle in her eye.
She also tells us that she is growing fast so she can have roller skates soon.
I have enjoyed my time with them.

Something interesting, when I first arrived in Cleveland I got a cold. Which was frustrating because I knew I needed to get over it quickly so it didn't wear me down and so I could still have surgery on the 20th. My colds often last at least a week if not 10 days. So I brewed some of my Essiac tea and drank it 3 times a day for a few days and drank 1/2 of a lemon in a quart of water twice a day. My cold was gone in 4 days!!!! I was amazed. I know my sister-in-law says Essiac is good for colds, and sore throats and whatever ails you, as well as helping the immune system and fighting cancer and I am beginning to believe her.

The nursery is almost finished and so is the kitchen all that's left are the details. Heather and I are hoping to get all of the painting done tomorrow and we will work on curtains and decorations on Tuesday and Wednesday. It has been a great change of pace and lots of fun.

Good News!!!!
We met with Dr.Curley on Wednesday, September 1, to find out how the tests went and when and if I was still eligible for the liver resection surgery. His waiting area was full of people, many were older than we were, some were younger, a few were a lot younger and they were all there hoping to be able to have liver resection surgery. One gentleman we met was going back home to get more Chemo to see if he could reduce the number of tumors he had and their size even more so he could qualify. Another young man had developed tumors in his lungs and was waiting to see how the doctor would handle that.So we were hoping for the best, but scared to death at the same time. Brian was so nervous he took two of his high blood pressure pills.
First I was called back to get my vitals checked. My blood pressure was even a little higher than usual for me and my stomach was rumbling. Next they put us in the coldest exam room in the building where we waited, first for the nurse, who went over all of my basic medical information again, next for the PA who came in and asked about the chemo I had had and all of the side effects I had experienced, she also told us the results of the blood tests and the CT scan. MY CEA which is a tumor marker, a possible indicator that your tumors are growing was back to normal!! The two tumors in my liver were reduced in size, my lymph nodes had stayed the same and the lesions from my first surgery were still improving!!! Wow we couldn't have received better news, it was what we had hoped for. After the PA left we had a prayer and thanked our Heavenly Father for His blessings to us and for all of those who have been there for us, for their prayers and thoughts and love. Finally, Dr. Curley arrived. He indicated that I was ready for the surgery except that my liver needed some more time to heal from the Chemo. Two weeks. If he did the surgery sooner than that the liver might not heal as quickly and there would be a greater chance of infection. Surgery was scheduled for the 20th of Sept. but I will need to be back in Houston on the 17th for tests. He will be taking the right lobe and it will grow back in 6 weeks. I will be in the hospital 5-6 days and another week recuperating before going home.

I left for Heather's Wednesday afternoon to visit for those two weeks and to help her get ready for the new baby. I won't be there this time to help her when the baby comes but Jared's mother is coming thank goodness. Brian is back in Wasilla where he is preparing to head into the interior to sell boots until we meet in Houston probably on the evening of the 16th.
Today the babies and I went for a nature walk, picking up rocks and sticks and dandelions and acorns and bird feathers and mushrooms along the way. We played in the baby pool in the back yard, and read books. I helped Heather hook up the new dishwasher and the dryer vent. We are going to begin painting the nursery tomorrow. I feel so good. I haven't felt this good for a long long time. I am so grateful to have this time with Heather and Jared and Abbie and Will. Life is wonderful. Goodnight.

My last chemo was on the 9th of August. The side effects were not as serious as the previous three treatments but then I was only getting half of what they usually give me. I was still ill enough for the rest of the week to notice. The numbness in my hands and feet and my sensitivity to cold is still there and it may not go away.

Brian and I arrived in Houston Sunday evening. It has been a whirlwind getting here, lots of loose ends to tie up since we could be away most if not all of September. All of the love and support from family and friends helped. Thank you, thank you and thank you. You will never know how much your kindnesses, and thoughts of love and your prayers have meant to us.

Today was full of tests, blood tests--I thought that would be easy with no need to be stuck because of the groshan I have for chemo. But no, you have to have a note from your doctor because some doctors are afraid of infection and I haven't seen my doctor yet. They hunted around poking holes in me until they found a vein that would work for them. The chest xray was quick and easy then the CT scan, when I checked with them about using the groshan for that procedure they said it wouldn't dispense the radioactive isotope into my body as fast as a vein would, however, after I told them of my previous experience they were very careful and only had to stick me once. Everyone is very friendly to you and you are treated well and if you want to get alot of tests done fast and know the results within the next couple of days this is the place to be. I think I have mentioned this before. It is also the place to realize that my challenges are small compared to many of the others we saw there. One mother at the motel had admitted her son to the hospital today, he has brain cancer and can't see anymore and is 13 and things aren't getting any better.

Tomorrow our long time friends from Plano will be coming to visit and take us to see their youngest son, my namesake, Evan, in Austin. We haven't seen them for years, it will be a nice reunion.

After our visit with the surgeon on Wednesday I will know how the tests went and when the surgery will be scheduled. I will keep you posted.

It is 1:30 on Tuesday morning and the only reason I am writing in this blog at that time is because I can't sleep. Monday was another chemo, it has been 4 weeks since the last and I can't relax. My legs and arms and the rest of me for that matter is very anxious, not nearly a severe reaction as the last time but still there. The legs just feel like they have to be moving. However,they didn't have to medicate me so much that Brian had to find a wheel chair for me and help me to bed and let me sleep. No,I walked easily to the car, I did have a nap for a few hours, watched a movie, 7 Pounds, a sad movie, with my family, which brought me to tears, and ate dinner. We will see what tomorrow brings, sometimes the days afterward are worse. But I think this lighter dosage agrees with me..

I had almost decided to skip this chemo and perhaps never have it again. Then at my last doctors appointment he suggested cutting the rineteacan and oxy dosages in half of what I had last time but adding a bolus of 5fu without the pump and some Avastan, a full dose. After Brian and Jared did some research for me,taking the 5 fu when you have already had a reaction to it again and taking Avastan with all of it's side affects was not an option. We also contacted the md Anderson clinic in Houstan to see what they would do.
They felt like I had taken enough chemo to look at my liver tumors and see how they had responded to it. They gave me an appointment on Aug. 30th to run blood tests and a ct scan and an appointment with the doctor on the 2nd of Sept. at which point in time they would probably schedule a liver resection. So after much prayer and pondering and fasting I chose to do one more chemo but eliminate the 5fu and the Avastan and then wait until after surgery to decide on any more chemo. After all chemo isn't for everyone, and it brings no guarantees, even research suggest that about 1/3 of the people given chemo don't respond to it. I was also impressed, after receiving a priesthood blessing, to think outside of the box, which is where I feel most comfortable anyway and look for alternatives to strengthen my body and to fight the cancer more naturally.I am back on my wheat grass, my carrot juice, Essaic tea, asparagus and my supplements. I will be trying more veggies and fruits and more unprocessed foods.

This brings me back to the beginning when I first knew I had cancer and my feelings of hope and despair. I am a mother, I want to be there for my children and my grand children, I am not ready to leave them. I want to see them grow up. I am a wife to someone who has always treated me as a princess. I want to be there for him, to sing his praises to future generations. I have been blessed to have such a caring, generous husband,and father for our children. I also did not want to put that chemo in my body, a body which has served me well. I still have my moments of tears and feelings of uncertainty when I am trying to make a significant decision, because I want to do what my Heavenly Father would have me do.I keep listening for answers and they come best when I am on my knees.

Have you noticed that sometimes when you are sick you don't realize how sick you were until you are well? I am beginning to understand that I have not felt myself for quite a long time. Perhaps for at least a couple of years or longer. This last couple of weeks I have felt stronger and better than I have for a long time. I have gone on walks and hiked and had the energy to do things without just being exhausted. I have felt so much better than I have since the chemo began, chemo really made me sick and tired and weak and I was just existing, because that is the strength I had to do. I realize that now that I have had a two week reprieve.
I see the doctor today...... I know what he wants me to do.... at least 4 more chemo before my liver surgery. I am pondering and praying if that is what I should do. He will have the results of one specific test, my CEA, which can be an indicator of the chemo being effective against the cancer.

Decisions, decisions, decisions......there are so many things to decide...thank goodness for prayer, for the peace and comfort and inspiration that come from searching the scriptures and seeking the will of my Heavenly Father.

It has been almost three weeks since my last chemo treatment. I am feeling so good, although some side effects remain like the sensitivity to cold I noticed when I was helping fillet and package the salmon the kids caught. I also still need to stay pretty close to a bathroom. I am not suffering from any nausea and my stomach feels wonderful. It is nice to have some energy to do things with the family this week. I have another week of freedom and then the treatments are supposed to start again, at least 3 more. I am also getting a ct scan at some time in the near future to see if this chemo has done anything to the tumors in my liver. Having this last week with the grand children and feeling good has been a real blessing.

Now the babies and big girls are gone. They flew out of here last night and this morning and I am going to miss them. I have to admit that things have been pretty crazy around here with 10 people rubbing shoulders in our 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom cabin but we made some sweet memories. This last week we added Heather's husband's family to many of the activities as they were here on vacation too, however they were staying with friends in Anchorage. We hiked in Hatcher Pass yesterday, We have processed lots of Salmon; Rob and Jared brought home Kenai Reds from a couple of fishing trips and Angela went dip netting at fish creek and caught 14 silvers and reds. We celebrated Meg's birthday this week she turns 11 on the 2nd of August and Heather and Angie and I took her and Grace shopping for school clothes. Of course we visited the Iditarod Museum and the grand kids took a ride on the dog sleds, and we have had ice cream at Little Millers and other places numerous times. I will remember making muffins with them, everyone helping, stirring and tasting and singing tra la la boom dee aye while they kept time with paper plate drums and forks and butter knives, walks to the lake to look for ducks and fish and watching them play together. Seeing Brian holding William on his lap watching "I just can't wait to be King on you-tube over and over again and Abbie snuggling into his shoulder, just enjoying being held. Meg and Grace asking their grandpa to be "hilarious" as he shares with them short sentences that contain those "potty" words which he tells them for some reason will always make a 5 year old or a 10 year old laugh.
It has been a summer to remember and I appreciate Brian for helping to make it happen.

Brian and I visited with the doctor on Thursday. I was still not feeling very good. In fact until Friday I had trouble with my stomach hurting. We discussed taking a break because my grandkids are here for only one more week and I didn't want to be sick this last week. Then I asked him about taking one more week so it wouldn't mess up my family visits at work. He said okay take two weeks!! Maybe I will feel like I can face another Chemo session after that break. The doctor did say that I was getting a stronger dose of chemo than some because I have the potential of being cured, so that is why I am getting so sick. I am looking at 3 or 4 more chemo sessions and then my surgery. Hmmm we will see. I am also looking at a scan to see if we can tell if the chemo is effective.

I am feeling pretty normal today, Sunday. It is so nice not to be looking at having Chemo tomorrow.
We played at Beaver Lake on Saturday with the family and friends. In spite of the weather we had a great time wake boarding, sitting in the hot tub and visiting. We celebrated several of our close friends July birthdays with a program on untalented and a dance. Brian and I took portable army showers and running shorts for gifts.
We spent Sunday with Jared's family, dinner and visiting. I am looking forward to working half days next week and visiting with my grandchildren and children before they head home this weekend. I look forward to feeling good for the next few weeks! Eating real food and building up my reserves for the rest of the chemo.

It has been over a week since my last treatment. This morning I really felt sick. I hate to say this but I have not recovered nearly as quickly from this last treatment as I have the last two. That worries me a little. I am now able to drink my water when I have put a little apple cider in it. It makes it easier on my tummy, thanks to my brother for reminding me of that. I am considering asking the doctor about putting a few more weeks between this last and the next treatment, especially since my grandchildren are here for only a few more weeks.

Having the family around has been a great distraction to me and one that I enjoy and am grateful to have.
Rob, my oldest son and Jared, Heather's husband headed down to the Kenai to fish, taking Meg and Grace, Rob's daughters with them last Thurs. They had a great time and came home with 13 reds. We broiled several fillets on Sunday, basted them with butter and then drizzled a lemon- lime ginger sauce over them. Wow! So tasty!! Jared commented that that would be a 50.00 a plate meal! He is probably right. ( juice of one lemon, one lime, 1 cup sugar, grated fresh ginger to taste, and lemon and lime zest to taste. simmer until it thickens. Serve over grilled or broiled salmon fillet.)
I enjoyed taking a walk with Grace and Will on Sunday evening. We walked to Wasilla Lake and looked for fish under the bridge. Will thought it was fun walking barefoot in the grass. Grace danced around us chattering and singing like the little performer she is.

Monday night we had family home evening with the little ones and that was sweet. Grace picked the songs and led them. Meg took care of assigning the prayers. I gave the lesson and Rob planned the activity. It was so sweet to see how the children responded when we all took turns telling what we thought was special about them and each other. We played duck duck goose and even little Will who is 18 months was tapping us on the head and saying duck duck and then running down the hall and back as fast as he could go. There is nothing sweeter than kneeling with your children and little ones in family prayer together at the end of the day.

Friends and Family continue to bless my life with their kind deeds and thoughts and prayers. I am blessed.

Chemo on Monday.... the doctor agreed to try a different chemo protocol after a long discussion. Near the end of my treatment I became nauseated and vomited several times, didn't want to let that waste basket go. I had an anxiety attack, couldn't stop moving my legs and my arms.
Brian told the nurse he wouldn't take me home like that, but over to the emergency room. She gave me several different medications to take care of things and something to put me to sleep and it did. I slept all night with very few challenges except being thirsty and needing a drink. This morning I headed to the infusion lab for a transfusion and some hydration and I have been sleeping and relaxing and handling the day pretty well. I will try to go to work tomorrow.

It has been nice time to snuggle and read to the babies and to visit with my children.

I think this new chemo is something I am going to be able to handle for the next 3 treatments. We will see.

I never thought I would be sipping warm coca cola all day long, but it definitely helps my nausea. Will I end up being addicted to coke before this is over? Randy, my son who was visiting during this last treatment, made me hibiscus and ginger tea with just a little sugar---it is very tart without any sugar and it is very rich in vitamin c, it settled well on my tummy and I was also able to drink it in quantity. My essiac tea also settled well and water with lots of lemon but water alone just didn't go down well. I made several trips to the infusion lab for hydration which gave me more energy and helped the nausea. Toward the end of the week I was feeling a little more normal. Unfortunately my gastrointestinal tract is constantly moving( is there a nice way to say diarrhea?) so I know where the closest restrooms are when I am on the road. Other interesting side effects of the chemo are more sensitivity to cold, increased sensitivity to smell, taste, sound and light.
I have been dreading getting another treatment like the last one. I have pondered on it and prayed about it, telling my Heavenly Father that if it be possible I would like not to do this again but that I would do His will.

Heather and Jared and the babies flew in on Thursday night late. We went camping at the South Rolly campground near Willow on Friday and Saturday with the rest of the family. Everyone was there--a family reunion, we took a family picture by the lake. We ate hotdogs, smores, and watermelon. We cooked a dutch oven dinner; ham, green beans and potatoes (yum) and a breakfast of french toast, bacon and hot chocolate. We slept in a tent while it poured rain and enjoyed canoeing on the lake. Those who were more adventurist than I had water fights and went swimming and even said the water was warm. I almost forgot about Monday and Chemo and being sick for at least a week.

I had been back to visit with the doctor and had discussed my pains near my heart and my concerns about having the pump and the 5-FU again. He seemed to feel that my pain was associated with all the vomiting I was doing and that if I was on top of the nausea I would be able to tolerate the chemo. I left agreeing to try but still dreading the prospect and still praying that somehow this might change.
Well Brian started doing some more research ( he wasn't aware of my prayers, just knew how sick I had been). We will visit with the doctor tomorrow morning, at 10:00, I am supposed to get my chemo at 11:00. However I will not be getting the 5-FU or the pump!!! He found significant research discussing the serious, lethal, side effects of the 5-FU, especially those associated with heart problems and heart attacks. Serious enough that I will need to try something else. Jared, our dear son-in-law was doing research too and it looks like there is a chemo combination that I can take that should not be so harsh and yet almost as effective as what they were giving me. When all was said and done Brian asked me if I had been praying about this? So much information that we had needed to make a wise decision had become available at a critical time. He knows me so well----he always asks me that question when things are happening that seem impossible. I know my Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers, not always as I would have them answered but with my best interests in mind.
I am ready for Monday, not excited, but ready. There are still other options to consider and decisions to make but I feel ready to move ahead and face what tomorrow will bring.

My Mother sent me this poem after my last chemo, I have to admit that I cried when I read it;
This experience has and is changing my life.

Pain stayed so long, I said to him today
I will not have you with me any more.
I stomped my foot and said, be on your way
Then paused there startled at the look he wore.

I who have been your friend, said he to me.
I who have been your teacher. All you know
Of understanding, love and sympathy,
Of patience I have taught you, shall I go?

He spoke the truth, this strange, unwanted guest.
I watched him leave and knew that he was wise.
He left a heart made tender in my breast
He left a clearer vision in my eyes.

Today is Thursday... Chemo was Monday, I didn't sleep well and so I slept on the couch. Randy kept me company on the floor. I went into work for a few hours on Tuesday, that is all I could handle. Too dizzy and nauseated. Tuesday night I was restless, the pump I wore was a constant reminder of the Chemo. In the middle of the night I started to get pains off and on near my heart as well as nausea. Finally I clamped off the pump and Brian took out the battery of that pump! I don't know if I will ever wear it again. I don't want to feel that way again. Wednesday afternoon I was finally able to get up and get dressed enough to go to the infusion lab to get hydrated and to get some meds that the nurse said would make me feel better. At the end of the infusion I was still feeling nauseated so she gave me something to make me sleep, and it did. By the time Brian got me home I could barely wake up to get in the house. All I remember telling him and Angie is that I would be glad to stay in the car. I slept and slept and slept.

Today I feel better but still a little queasy. I even ate oatmeal and raisins and almond milk for breakfast and it tasted good and stayed down. Brian took me to the lab for another hydration this time without the meds. Randy and Angie came with him to pick me up and check out the artwork in the doctor's office. We ate lunch in the cafeteria. By the way the cafeteria at the mat-su regional hospital serves some pretty good food. I ate the chicken dumpling soup, some green beans and some french fries. Comfort foods. I think I may have enough energy to put in a few hours at work this afternoon.
After this experience I don't know what I will do. I am certainly not ready to do this again. I know I don't want my heart to feel that way again. The nurse said after 3 treatments they could do a scan and see if the chemo was making a difference in my tumors. Maybe if they put me out for the entire ordeal I could handle it. Hmmmm... I see the doctor on Monday. Two treatments down and 4 to go???? Or am I finished? Only I can know!
Dinner was salmon patties, chicken noodle casserole, a fruit bowl and asparagus of course.

It is Monday and Chemo day. I went into work for an hour to pick up some things to do while I was sitting in the infusion lounge.
The oncology office is well designed, one side for office visits and the other is outfitted with about a dozen black leather loungers, each with its own flat screen TV and warm blankets for the asking if the chemo makes you cold.The front office has an interesting Alaskan decor, wood carved fish and bears. Antler framed couches and a large marble carving of salmon spawning.

Brian always go with me to start off my treatments. He is my second set of ears and also asks good questions, questions I might not think to ask. He sees that I have something good for lunch like split pea soup and keeps in touch just in case I need something or someone. I am so grateful for him and love him for his attentiveness and support during all of this.
Today I had some blood work done and saw the doctor where we discussed the side effects of my last treatments so he could tweak my medication which he did because I had such a blazing headache last time. I have been drinking water like a fish, they suggest 2-3 quarts a day to lesson the intensity of the nausea and other side effects. I also plan to go to the lab to get hydration infusions if I don't keep up on my water.
The nurses are kind and efficient and attentive. I was able to get my paper work done during the 4 hour infusion and didn't fade until they hooked up the 48 hour pump and the last chemo.
Brian picked me up and I went home to sleep. I looked green. After resting a few hours, and eating bananas and peanut butter I am feeling like an 8-9 on a scale of 10 with 10 being normal.
Let's hope the rest of the week I feel like this.

This has been a good week. I have felt almost normal, though I still get tired easily. On Wednesday they put in the groshong, an access point to my veins so they don't have to put in an IV every time I go for chemo or poke me anytime they need blood. That was a same day procedure at the hospital. The Chemo must make your veins weaker, they blew three of mine, which has never happened before, trying to find one for the IV for the surgery, however the hospital staff was really nice about it, they took turns, no one wanted to try twice. I was only having a local anesthetic so they gave me something to relax. I was out before they finished giving it to me and didn't wake up until they took me to recovery. I spent most of the day sleeping and I really felt rested after that, more rested than I have for awhile. I am trying to get my 35 hour work weeks in as much as possible and so far I have succeeded by working on Fridays, a day I use to take off. I have Chemo every other week, this week will be the full dose. I go in on Monday and leave with a pump which they take off on Wednesdays. I wonder how that will affect how I feel? I have enjoyed the reprieve from the side effects this week. And
two of my grandaughters arrived. Hurray!! that should help keep my mind on other things.

Interesting that clay needs to be fired....I am wondering how hot the furnace is going to get before I jump out and say I have had enough. I know Someone is watching the refining process who is wiser than I and will let me know when that point comes.This week is better than last and should end well, but more fuel will be added to the fire next Monday and I am not looking forward to that. However the doctor says the side effects are easier to handle if I consume large amounts of water, 2-3 quarts a day. Hmmm pouring water on the fire, does that make sense?

The cancer had spread. It had escaped the intestinal wall and was found in my lymph nodes and my liver. Not a very good prognosis, especially if the cancer is poorly differentiated which means it is aggressive.
Chemo anyone? That is the dreaded word no one likes to hear yet a sweet friend of mine who has been through it commented that the chemo club is a very select club....hmm that doesn't mean I want to join it. In fact I have searched high and low to find a different club and there are certainly a lot to choose from.
But I have been pulled kicking and yelling into the chemo club....I think that is one of the requirements to join.
If I hadn't learned about md anderson cancer clinic and surgery for liver resection I would probably not have joined the club. Dr. Curley, my surgeon there who knows liver resections like I know how to make wheat bread, said that with chemo and the surgery I have a good chance of having at least 5 years maybe more.
Md anderson changed the pathology report from poorly differentiated to moderately differentiated and that certainly made a lot of difference in the way my doctors looked at my treatment, especially my oncologists. Now the chemo is really going to be toxic... got to search out and find all of those baby cancer cells that are running around my body and destroy them before they find a place to live and start a family.

My first chemo session they were only able to give me part of the treatment because I hadn't had my port put in they were using a pic-line and after half of the treatment it was done. I have to admit I was relieved. I didn't want to experience all of the side effects that first week, if I had I might not have returned for the next treatment. Oh well, one down and five to go! I can do anything worthwhile even if it seems like it is going to kill me for 6 times, right?

Nausea, if you drink lots of water it is supposed to help....drinking water, or anything else for that matter, is not very appealing to me when I am nauseated.... I did nurse a can of coke one day, warm coke, because I can't have cold drinks or ice, neuropathy, your throat feels like it is swelling shut, just one side effect of that darn chemo.
Fatigue, just feeling tired most of the time, another side effect, and you are supposed to exercise in spite of that tired feeling.
My eyes and my ears are more sensitive to light and sound, I am understanding the sensory kids I work with better.

Meanwhile every morning I get up and eat my asparagus--- four tablespoons, drink my Essiac tea, my carrot, broc, and wheat grass juice and breakfast if there is room. Every night I eat my asparagus and drink my tea before going to bed..... I stay away from dairy and I eat meat sparingly. When I feel like eating I push the veggies and fruit, especially the veggies.
The food I find satisfying is food I ate when I was a child, oatmeal with raisins and tuna sandwiches with pickles and toast. Simple foods.

One nice thing about major surgery is that you probably don't really remember how hard it was because of the anesthesia and how long it takes your body to recover from it. I do remember and felt the love and support and prayers and thoughts of so many friends and church members. My room was filled with flowers and notes and visitors. I wasn't able to have any food or water for the first three or days, by mouth, so my colon would heal. You are waiting anxiously to "pass gas" as the magic sign that you can begin eating real food. And when you begin eating that food make sure it is liquid and then very soft for several days, also pain medication causes constipation so you may want something to help move things along. Chewing gum which contains sorbitol and drinking liquids from a crazy straw are supposed to help make the colon heal faster and I think they worked for me. I was released from the hospital after 5 days. One of the possible side of effects of colon surgery, and I think it probably depends on where the tumor is removed, is not having normal bowel control, but very loose and frequent bowels. That was something I wasn't made aware of, I guess I didn't ask the right questions before the surgery.
However surgery was not to be the end of my cancer.

April 21st Surgery for colon cancer. I had been in good health all of my life, never been in the hospital for anything except to have my four babies. Hadn't been feeling quite like myself for a couple of years. Then about a year ago I started craving ice. I would stop at the gas stations and buy a huge cup of ice several times a day. It got so bad that one night while my husband and I were at the movie and I was downing by large cup of ice and he was eating his large bag of popcorn the gentleman in front of us turned around and said, "I don't know what you are eating lady but I will give you $20.00 if you will stop right now." I was so embarrassed, I vowed never to eat ice again.....while at the movies. I learned that craving ice can be a sign if anemia, and I was tired too. So I made an appointment with my doctor and took my list of symptoms and went for a visit. First a blood test, you have anemia, in fact I don't know where you get your energy, your shouldn't have any energy with as low as you blood is. I was given 2 units of blood and I felt much better but still not well. A colonoscopy, a barium colonoscopy, and an endoscopy later I visited with the doctor. After all the tests, stool samples and blood work, we can't find anything wrong sometimes there is something called an intestinal bleed,you are good and healthy. But the nagging feeling wouldn't go away. I really felt there was something they were missing. I asked my husband for a blessing and was told in the blessing to return to the doctor and tell him all of my symptoms and so I did. My doctor listened patiently, wrote down everything and then said there was one more test he would suggest, a CT scan. A few days later the test was complete and the results were in I had an apple core shaped tumor on the right side near the top of my large intestine, a good place to have a tumor if you are going to have one but obviously a hard place to find. A few days later I was heading into surgery. Scary what do you do if you have colon cancer and what are the side effects of the surgery?